Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I Wish I Knew How to Feel Good Again

Is is just me, or are we in a mood/state that is affecting many of us? I don't see any good news coming from anywhere. Even the Olympics were tainted with a murder, underage competitors and a government crackdown. Bush is ineffective, as always, and we still have a messy war we didn't need to get into, stock market woes, mortgage woes, joblessness on the rise, a huge national debt and Palin as a possible next President. This has become a very stupid country. We are so worried about gays marrying and yet we can actually have people in power who think that global warming is not man-made.

I grew up with born-agains. They never got out of their miserable existences because they rationalized that everything was God's plan. My dad couldn't control his violent behavior and my mom couldn't leave. "God is testing me" was her mantra. She was so indoctrinated she was able to witness her children getting beaten up over nothing. I still have a startle mechanism that makes me jump in the air if someone walks in a room and simply says something while my back is turned.

A born-again truly thinks we are headed for an Armaggedon--indeed, they welcome it. They believe God is on our side and that non-Christians (read: most of the world) are going to Hell and that is God's Plan, too. They believe in predestination and therefore what is the use of trying to end human suffering or treating animals better? We don't need abortion rights, a cleaner planet or scientists who think the world is more than 6,000 years old.

If I dwell on this, I will get more depressed. It's enough to make me want to leave or at least hide my head under something. I actually went online to see if my Landed Immigrant status in Canada was still in effect. It's not, but it looks like they would at least consider having me back.

So I'll write a few checks to my candidates of choice and hunker down at school and in my studio, trying to be the best I can be at what I do.

No comments: